Reflector

In everything that we do, we should ask ourselves, what do we want out of it?

In our school life, what do we want out of it? Is it just to get ahead of everyone else? Do well in our tests and exams? Get a good honours degree so we can get better job prospects and a better pay? Or is there more that we can do during this period of time?

In our group of friends, what do we want out of it? Do we want people to help us book seats in the lecture theatres? A clique to hang out during lunch time or to study with so we won’t be lonely? Or do we want to serve them, encourage them when they feel stressed or worked up about tests, and care for their well-being?

In our Christian walk, what do we want out of it? A religion? An assurance that we’ll go to heaven? Something easy which doesn’t drastically change our way of life, the way we think and view things, or our routine? Or do we want something more?

In going to church, what do we want out of it? Do we want to listen to a sermon every week and not remember what was being preached after the service, but feel good anyway cos we fulfilled our “duty”? Do we want a pastor who preaches exactly what we want to hear, which doesn’t challenge us or ask us to do anything too “difficult”? Or do we want to open our hearts, and accept the message, even if we don’t like it? Do we want our lives to be radically changed and to be fruitful for the kingdom of God?

During praise and worship, what do we want out of it? Do we want to get it over with because it’s just part of the service? Do we jump because want to look like we’re doing the right thing? Or because we want to give our all and give God the praise He deserves, like King David in the bible, even if it means looking out of place or silly at times? When we lift our hands during worship, do we do it because everyone else is doing it? Or do we do it because we want a touch from God?

Do we sing songs just to feel good about it? Do we sing safe songs or old songs because we feel comfortable with them and we don’t want to associate with pop culture too much because it’s too “worldly”? Or do we sing to God, to glorify Him? Because the bible says to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, to sing a new song to Him? Do we have flashing lights and cool graphics because we have no where else to spend our money? Or do we have these things to reflect who God is, that He is a colourful and creative God?

Mark 2:22 says “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins; or else the new wine bursts the wineskins, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But new wine must be put into new wineskins.”

If we want to do something new with an old mindset, it’ll never work. If our mindset is old, how can God pour new ideas and new things into our lives?

When people tell us things which conflict with our own ideas, it’s easy to say “Oh the person is wrong, because this is the way I think, and it’s definitely correct” Or it may just mean that we need a mindset change. There might be certain assumptions which we make automatically about things, which we don’t even pause to consider whether those assumptions are right or not.

And people tend to trust their feelings when they do things. Sometimes, it’s good. Sometimes, it’s not. When I feel like eating jap food, and I go and eat it, I feel good, and that’s good. When I feel like studying, and I go study, that’s good.

But when I feel like the PAP is “brain-washing” the people, I don’t migrate to another country or attack them on my blog (I’m not saying they are, it’s just an analogy). I know that they’re doing a good job because Singapore is a progressive country with a low crime rate and a high literacy rate, so I won’t migrate. Just because I feel like changing church a million times because of various reasons (some of which are really good personal reasons by the way), I don’t, because I know from experience that I wasn’t fruitful in a lot of other churches I’ve been to and if I leave, I know the outcome. Know a man by his fruits, because God emphasises a lot on fruitfulness.

Criticism from others is inevitable when you want to do something for God. What matters is not the criticism. Because we seek God’s approval, and don’t do things just because people say that’s the “right” way to do things, or preach things just because it’s “safe”.

A few years ago, any statement which sounded a bit wrong doctrinally will irk me tremendously. Being a christian from a young age, having been to many churches, having attended sunday school, and having siblings and relatives who would make remarks or talk about certain doggy doctrines, I thought I knew what was right and what was wrong. I thought that everything in the world ought to be black and white. I thought. But that was the past.

Doctrines and theories can give you an idea about what kind of morals to have, what kind of behaviour is correct and what is not. They give a picture of how everything functions in the world. But I realise now that doctrines and theories can only take you so far. Even with all the doctrines in the world, it cannot save you.

When people debate about the nitty-gritty details in the bible or about ideas and schools of thought, a lot of times, it doesn’t help them to love God more or to know Him in a deeper way. Why do people do that? Why did I use to do that? Come to think of it, I think I just wanted to be right. And partly, it’s also out of fear of doing something wrong. Fearfulness. But then, the bible says that everything done out of fear and not of faith, doesn’t please God. 

A walk with God is more than just debates about what is theoretically sound. Doctrines don’t give you a relationship with God. And having a relationship with our Creator is really what christianity is all about, and it’s what we’re made for in the first place.

I got over the stage when I seriously found fault with the smallest of things. The way things were done in church, the things people said, and many other things. But thank God He was so patient with me and allowed me to see things in a different light over time. Thank God He kept me from leaving my church for another, even though it was soooooo hard to hang on. You can’t imagine. And I can’t remember a lot of it already haha. But thank God for His grace. I think if I had left, I wouldn’t have known what I missed (which would have been a lot hahaha), and I’d have lost hope of a breakthrough.

In everything that we do, God looks at our heart. Our motivation for doing things. Our attitude.

And what really matters is our personal relationship with God. For me, it’s my personal relationship with Him. For you, it’s yours. A verse which truly spoke to me was John 21:20-22.

John 21:20-22 says “Then Peter, turning around, saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following, who also had leaned on His breast at the supper, and said, “Lord, who is the one who betrays You?” Peter, seeing him, said to Jesus, “But Lord, what about this man?”
Jesus said to him, “If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You follow Me.”

A lot of times, we’re so caught up about judging other people and criticizing that we overlook our own relationship with God. Then that’s when we stagnate, because we channel all our effort into criticizing and forget that there’re still areas in our lives which we need to change. There is NEVER a point in time where we can say, “There’s no need for me to change anymore, the problem lies with you.” Because if we do that, we miss the point entirely. There is ALWAYS some area in our lives, an attitude, a habit, a dream, which we need to surrender to God. And in this walk with Him, if we’re not lukewarm and stagnant, we should find ourselves surrendering more and more of ourselves to Him.

When we focus on the negative, we will fail to see the positive. I know that well haha.

God is constantly looking for ways to mould our character. But He’ll only touch what we allow Him to. From the beginning of time, the same old things prevent Him from changing us, and prevent us from drawing near to Him. They are Pride and Rebellion. There’s still a lot of pride and rebellion which I need to deal with, and I think, it’s a problem a lot, if not all, face. Look at the great men and women of God, and you’ll be able to see brokenness, and surrender. The more we surrender to God, the more He can use us.

And something my CIC bible study teacher, Marie, said today was like just…wow. She said, “When people meet you, wouldn’t it be great if even before you actually tell them you’re a christian, they can say ‘wow I see Jesus in you’.” Man…that’ll be so cool.