Night cycling September 24, 2006
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I went night cycling two nights ago. It was my first time cycling along the main road. And it was dark. Haha. Now I understand why my mum was worried. I sort of realised that it was rather dangerous after I started. Or maybe because I’m not used to cycling along the main road. But it was fun haha.
Went with pharm and med people. Yep. We cycled from east coast to lao pa sat, then to the esplanade and back to east coast. I think we started at 11 plus or 12 around there and we got back at 4 something. I got home at 5 something and wanted to sleep, but my sis was sleeping in my room and she took my pillow. So I had no pillow until she got up in the morning. Not sure if I slept much cos I don’t remember. But couldn’t sleep much lah.
Ok brief description of night cycling. But I’m lazy to give anything more. Can’t be helped. 
Protected: expectations September 23, 2006
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Walking with Jesus September 21, 2006
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I’ve grown up in what you would call a Christian family and I’ve been to various churches in different periods of my life. However, I’ve never felt closer to God than I do now. It’s not that I never doubt that He’s with me. I do doubt many times that God is here with me. Because God is invisible, and I don’t really know exactly what God’s presence feels like, so I keep asking others what it feels like. And I’m still not completely sure. I thought that when God is with a person, His presence would be so overwhelming that it would be undeniable. However, God is gentle, so sometimes He’s there but I don’t feel it.
And anyway, when you’re with a person, sometimes you can sense the person’s presence, but sometimes you can’t. That’s why people can surprise you from behind. So how do I know God is really there? Because the bible promises that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Jesus said in Matthew 28:19-20 “ Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them all things which I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.”Jesus promised that He’ll be with us always, and He doesn’t lie. So it is with this promise that I have to keep reminding myself, that God hasn’t left me even when I feel like He has.
During the darkest moments of my life, I cried out to God in the dark to show some sign that He’s with me. I felt so alone. I didn’t get any voice from heaven or an angelic visitation. I just cried myself to sleep during those times. Why didn’t I give up on God even though He didn’t show Himself during those many dark nights? I don’t know exactly. It might seem really foolish to hold on to God even though He didn’t show up. But just because I didn’t feel His presence then doesn’t mean He wasn’t there. Maybe I sound foolish. But I’d rather be a fool for Christ than for anything else. The valley might have been long, but valleys don’t last forever. God will always provide a way out, and even if it seems like the valley is never-ending, it will end eventually, and God has promised that He’s always there with us, even when we don’t feel His presence. God will never set a trial too hard to overcome, if only we’d look to Him when we’re facing them and not look away.
If we manage to go through the valley and cling on to God, we’ll go up a higher level of faith. You can’t go higher without trials. God is always with us. It’s an assurance. If only we’d believe it and claim it. But God is not always so elusive. Sometimes I might get subtle clues of His presence. Like maybe a lecturer would say something and it would just strike me as something Pastor talked about the week before. Or I would find a link to what the lecturer said to biblical concepts. It makes lectures a little less boring.
Sometimes during service, I would just have joy, like I’ve no worries at all. I feel like I can just jump and praise God without any restriction. Sometimes during quiet time or when I just talk to God, I feel a bit of a tingle, I feel happy. Maybe that’s God’s presence. When I ask God for the strength to go through the following day, to give me the strength to interact with people and go through lectures, somehow I get the strength to do it. I’m actually not a very sociable person, but I manage to talk to people and keep smiling. That’s the Holy Spirit. Definitely. Because I know and I know that I can’t do it on my own. The joy of the Lord is my strength.
Going through life is like doing a join-the-dots exercise. Each day of our lives is like one dot. We may not see the purpose of some things which happen in our lives. Sometimes we might wonder, why did God allow this thing to happen to me? If He really loves me so much, why did He allow me to go through this? But at the end of a certain period, I discover that actually, things happened this way for a purpose. I see a “bigger picture”, and at the end of it, I’m humbled because sometimes I blame God for something which happens when actually without that thing, things wouldn’t have worked out the way they did. That’s God’s guiding hand in our lives, even before we get to know Him, He’s already setting in motion a plan for our lives. Walking with Jesus is very exciting. I can talk to Him anytime I want to and I know He’s listening by faith. And sometimes, He sets in motion things which are beyond my imagination. Some things, I would never imagine could happen this way. But they do, and things work out, often better. I won’t trade this for anything. And a walk with Jesus, it’s a commitment, not an option. It’s a relationship, like a marriage covenant. You don’t just get divorced because you’re not happy with your partner. Similarly, you don’t cut off God and His family from your life simply because you’re not happy with Him or other people. Every relationship has it’s ups and downs, but we have the assurance that God is never changing, yesterday, today and forever. If something changed, it’s us. He loves us so much. He died for us, even while we didn’t know Him and rejected Him. He died, so we could be saved. So we could be free. There is no greater love this.
Ms Goh September 17, 2006
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Ms Goh accepted Christ before she passed away! I was so surprised and happy when my friend told me that. She was really a fantastic teacher. They put up eulogies on the MGS website. I’ll place two of them here to remember her.
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If I could use a single word to describe Miss Goh,
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Miss Goh lived a life of perseverance, determination and passion. As a teacher, Miss Goh didn’t just teach, she believed in educating. We learnt from her not just chemistry, but also values of life. Through her, we learnt how to be responsible students, to give our best, to work hard. We learnt how to take pride in our work , because she was a teacher who took much pride in her work. She was amazingly meticulous about her preparation for our assignments, ensuring that everything, from alignment, to spelling to sentence structure was perfect. I once asked her why she did so much, especially when she should be resting. And she told me that if, we, as teachers, wanted our students to work hard and do their best, then we must lead by example as well. Classes taught by her were always the calmest when O’level Lab sessions came. Because we were all well prepared and Miss Goh did that for us. Teaching wasn’t a job for her, it was part of her life. It was her passion. She was totally devoted and dedicated in giving her best for her students. Miss Goh has always been selfless, never imposing and always placing the needs of other above her own. It was always about someone else first, be it her parents, sisters or her students. She always went the extra mile for others. In her, I truly saw love. Through the last few years of fighting this battle, I saw in Miss Goh, strength, hope, faith. She always gave thanks, even though there were times when there wasn’t good news. She always looked ahead, and never dwelt on the circumstance that may not be ideal. She thanked God for the doctors, for medication, for her sisters, parents, and people around her. She gave thanks for the nurses who brought her an extra blanket, people she met at taxi stands who would help her and simply for people who were walking this journey with her. She never complained of her pain, and the only time I ever heard her mention anything about the treatment she was going through, was when she decided to stop chemo last year. I asked her why? And she simply said, Miss Goh is tired. It was then, that I knew, she had truly given all that she had, and she had fought the good fight, for her parents, her sisters, her family. I thank God that Miss Goh made a decision and got baptized earlier this year. I know that she drew much strength from God and that He gave her the comfort and peace she needed. I know He was with her thru it all, and He is still now. Today, it is hard to say goodbye. We all wish we could give Miss Goh a hug again, to hear her laugh, to see her smile, to hear her voice again. It is hard to let go, because she is just so dear to all of us. But we all know that Miss Goh is now free of pain and suffering. We know she is with our Lord, and for that, I know she’d want us to be able to smile and to give thanks. Miss Goh has left, but not without a word. She left for us, a legacy…..and her footprints in our lives. From all of us, we Love you Miss Goh. Cheryl Ng |
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Many would have described her as a strict, demanding and no-nonsense teacher. Everything had to be done properly and promptly. “Punctuality” was the only word in her dictionary when it came to laboratories session. No one in the right mind dared to be late for her classes. Girls lining up in total silence outside the laboratory meant it was “Ms Goh’s class”. Images of her swirling the conical flask came to my mind. “Be steady. Swirl it gently with your right hand and control the tap with your left hand….Clean the test tubes properly and put it in the tray!….Hurry up!” From her, I acquired the best practical skill: the art of remaining calm and making quick and sound deductions until stressful conditions. “Look! Isn’t this beautiful?” she said, as she shakes a test tube filled with gold powder. She made Chemistry a wonderful subject filled with beauty and exciting reactions. How many teachers are able to do that? She was a very dedicated and selfless teacher who gave endless remedial just to prepare us for “O” levels. She scolded and nagged us often. But she was always generous in her praises when we tried our best or did well. She also had an amazing sense of humour and said many funny things with a straight face. Back then, she was put in charge of the TAF club with Ms Monica Bong so that over-weight girls would not always find excuses to skip running and aerobics sessions. Indeed, the fear of getting scolded by her “motivated” most of us to lose a couple of kgs. More effective than any slimming centers. The last time I saw her was just before I entered NUS. I wanted to let her know I made it to university. She looked at me hard and said, “I remember you.” “What are you going to study?” I replied, “Engineering.” “Are you happy?” she asked in a very firm tone. I told her no. Then she said, “You will make it.” It was only four simple words. But it carried me through many difficult times in the course of my study. Miss Goh, I just want to say that I’m so proud of you. I always never knew how to express my appreciation towards you. The only way I knew was to excel in life and not let you down. You believed in me and gave me strength to conquer difficulties in life. You will always be in my mind. I will miss you. Yeoh Wan Hui |
work ethic September 17, 2006
Posted by dot in Daily life, God.add a comment
A friend told me during the week that I shouldn’t worry so much because if everything I did was for God, then I should just do the things I do and not worry about the outcome. Because the outcome doesn’t really have to do with me since I’m doing it for God. It sounds ok, and that’s what I’ve believed in anyway.
But after a while, I was thinking that shouldn’t we be even more concerned because we are doing all that we do for God? If we were serving a king, shouldn’t we be more meticulous in what we do and put in more effort?
I’m not saying that we should worry about things because the bible says in Matthew 6:27 “Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?” Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but gets you nowhere.
However, since we are serving our Lord and King, we shouldn’t settle for substandard work. Even more so, we should put in our very best. In our studies, in our relationships, in our responsibilities. We should have a work ethic which will make us shine in the darkness. The world should want to copy us. Not the other way around.
Why can’t I study at home? September 15, 2006
Posted by dot in Misc.41 comments
Since secondary school, I’ve spent most of my time studying outside. I would only study at home when I have absolutely no choice or on the day before exams. Other than that, I mostly study at various fast food outlets or in the library. My common hangouts are KAP, serene centre, sixth avenue, holland village and bukit merah library.
Some of my friends can understand why I can’t study at home, because they can’t either. However, some just don’t get why I can’t study at home. I think they think I’m fussy.
So why exactly can’t I study at home? I always thought it was because I would get distracted by the computer, the kitchen etc. And that’s the reason I gave everyone. But after thinking about it for some time, I realised that that wasn’t the only reason. I mean, I could sit in the living room and study since the computer was in my room, but I don’t like to do that.
Other reasons why I don’t like to study at home…when the baby’s at home, I don’t like to hear barney in the background (DIE purple dinosaur).
When no one’s at home, no distractions right? But I don’t like to be alone. At least when I’m outside, there are other people with me. Even when I’m alone at burger king, there are other people mugging around me, there’s the cashier, movement of people. But most of the time I can only do assignments like math in fast food outlets. Too noisy to study. And I’m not taking math anymore.
Libraries remind me of exams. So now I’m quite reluctant to go there. And they close early.
And I can’t find study buddies. Yeah. So where can I study tomorrow?
2nd Toastmasters session September 12, 2006
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I joined the NUS toastmasters 2 weeks ago. They have meetings once a fortnight. Two weeks ago, I was just a spectator. I didn’t have the guts to try out the table topics, which simply means you go down in front of everyone and make a 2-minute impromptu speech on a misc topic.
Since I had to pay $130 to join NUSTM, I didn’t want to waste my money, so I wanted to try out a table topic today. But well, they didn’t have table topics today. They had this segment called games. We played an interesting game. Something like whose line is it anyway. I’ve never watched the show before.
Two people play it each time. They are given a senario, then they’re supposed to carry out a continuous dialogue by role-playing that senario. Every time the bell rings, they take turns to read out a phrase from a piece of paper and try to carry on the dialogue. Quite fun to do actually.
Got volunteered by friends. They raised my hand, then people started clapping, so I couldn’t back out. I went up and played the game with a guy. We were supposed to be on opposite ends of a phone line. I was from the pizza hut hotline and he was from the canadian pizza hotline. I didn’t look at the audience. Only glanced at them once or twice. Have to learn to look at them, but hey I wasn’t giving a speech..but it would be good to look at them. Quite cool.
And in the Sunday Times, they were featuring public speakers who earn big bucks conducting workshops and seminars. I think my next ambition is to become a public speaker and a part-time pharmacist =D And now, I just have to overcome my fear of public speaking and speak with charisma.
Then I can have money for building fund!!!
some direction September 11, 2006
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I don’t like to do things and yet not see results. Who does? I think I’m quite an impatient person. I don’t know how to wait and just trust God that everything will work out eventually. I know it will. I think it will. But I feel frustrated when I don’t see it working out now.
I know I’m sowing seeds. And it’s only the fifth week of school. But I wish things would move a little faster in this area. I wish God would make it clear exactly what He wants me to do.
But I also want to thank God that I’m not alone in pharmacy. I thank God for yuan tying, peijing and the other sisters in Christ. Yeah. Was feeling down today after school, then I met yuan tying while walking to the bus stop. She took me for some ice cream and encouraged me.
Lord, I need You.
Reflector September 11, 2006
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Reflector by Planetshakers
Since I’ve found Your love
I’ve never needed anything to fill my heart
Even when I fall
You’re always there with open arms to pick me up
From the start I knew
No one else could make me feel the way You do
Everyday I want to grow
Just a little bit closer, just a little bit closer
I want to be a reflector
I want to shine with Your glory
I want to let the whole world know that You’re
Living in me
I want to burn with Your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I want to let the whole world know that
Jesus Lives in me
Thus, the name.
First Overnight PM September 10, 2006
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We had dance masquerade yesterday. Man… bettie was so good! Her latin dance moves were fantastic. No wonder she won her competition haha.
Stayed on for prayer meeting. It lasted from 11pm to 5am, but I only stayed til about 3.45. It was great. The praise and worship was so good because those who went for the overnight prayer meeting were committed members and so God’s presence flowed more easily. I still don’t know how God’s presence feels like but I sort of have an idea. When it comes, there is joy in the air and in my heart. I can feel it in the atmosphere. Wish that God’s presence will be as strong for all the services and cell group meetings. It was really great.
We prayed through the entire list. Same as normal prayer meetings, just that it was so much better. Haha also went for a prayer meeting on Tuesday. Didn’t go for the one today though, cos I slept 5 hours the night before, couldn’t think straight and felt a bit dizzy.
Yeah prayer meetings are good. A place of agreement is a place of power. We can do nothing without God. Cos if we want to see things work out, we can’t do it solely with our own effort.
When we’ve done all we can and nothing seems to work, we can only pray, and trust God.
