Reflector

Die and you’re under arrest! Britain’s most stupid laws  

LONDON (AFP) – Queen Elizabeth II’s speech in the British parliament Tuesday may have been routine but at least nobody got bored to death. That would have been against the law.

Dying in parliament is an offence and is also by far the most absurd law in Britain, according to a survey of nearly 4,000 people by a television channel showing a legal drama series.

And though the lords were clad in their red and white ermine cloaks and ambassadors from around the world wore colourful national costumes, at least nobody turned up in a suit of armour. Illegal.

Other rules deemed utterly stupid included one that permits a pregnant woman to urinate in a policeman’s hat and murdering bow-and-arrow-carrying Scotsmen within the city walls of York, northern England.

A law stating that in Liverpool, only a clerk in a tropical fish store is allowed to be publicly topless, was also ridiculous, said a poll of 3,931 people for UKTV Gold television out Tuesday.

Nearly half of those surveyed admitted to breaking the ban on eating mince pies on Christmas Day, which dates back to the 17th century and was originally designed to outlaw gluttony during the rule of the Puritan Oliver Crowmell.

The laws and other regulations were culled from published research into ancient legislation that has never been repealed although subsequent statutes have rendered them obsolete.

Respondents were given a shortlist and asked to vote.

Most ridiculous British law:

1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27 percent)

2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (seven percent)

3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (six percent)

4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (five percent)

5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (four percent)

6. A pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman’s helmet (four percent)

7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the queen (3.5 percent)

8. It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (three percent)

9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour (three percent)

10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (two percent)

anything la hahaha

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Your in-depth results are:

Gryffindor – 14
Slytherin – 11
Ravenclaw – 9
Hufflepuff – 8

1. Shoot it in the eye at point blank range with a pistol. It’s no superman.

2. Use a fork and poke holes into it’s hump to let water leak out. Oh I forgot, camels don’t store water in their humps. Ok then, just use a carving knife, chop off the humps and let it loose into the desert! No fat stores, no water, it’ll die of dehydration. Or simply blood-loss.

3. Shave off it’s fur. It’ll get sunburnt and die of skin cancer.

4. Feed it lots of milk. It’ll become lactose intolerant after some time, get diarrhoea in the desert and die of dehydration… again. (Milk has lactose. You’ll get diarrhoea when you don’t have enough lactase(enzyme) to break it down)

5. Use a chainsaw and mistake its neck for a tree branch.

6. Tie it’s neck to a tree and it’s hind legs to the back of a lorry. Drive off at top speed in the opposite direction.

7. Feed it with a time bomb. It’ll implode. Or explode. I don’t know.

8. Hammer its hooves to the ground. When you need a light source at night, just pour a little kerosene on it and set it ablaze. Camel fat burns brightly. There is a light that shines in the darkness.

9. If it causes anyone  to stumble, tie a millstone around it’s neck and throw it off a cliff into the ocean.

10. Compress it and squish it small enough to go through the eye of a needle to prove that rich men can go to heaven.

Is this the New Year or just another desperation
looking for a bridge I can’t burn down
nothing is sound.